alongtheway

I Don't Want To Be A Casual Christian

 

I started writing more about my faith journey and would like to continue.  All these thoughts and feelings come from my heart and from what He has been teaching me.  I want to make it clear that I do not consider myself perfect, I just have a desire to grow closer to God daily.  God has also given me a burning desire to see others grow in their faith as well and that is why I share this in case someone else is walking the same road as I.  It is my belief that we should never feel that we have "arrived spiritually" or think that we've got it all figured out, or worse yet, feel completely comfortable where we are.  We should always want to grow, grow, grow, ever nearer to Him.  When we stop growing, we risk becoming a luke warm Christian that God will want to spit out of His mouth (Revelations). 

 

So thinking about this, I remembered a song from my teenage years from a Christian rock group called DeGarmo and Key.  They had a passion and urgency in their songs.  Maybe their music isn't as "complex" as modern music, but just think of "Jesus Loves Me".  Some truth is simple and timeless:

 

It's more than a wish, more than a daydream
More than just a passing whim
Yes, I've said this all before
A thousand times or more
I don't wanna waste my life in chains of sin

CHORUS

I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be a casual Christian
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna live a lukewarm life
But I wanna light up the night
With an everlasting light
I don't wanna live the casual Christian life

This life is filled with strong distractions
With pulls from the left one from the right
I've already made up my mind
Gonna leave this world behind
Gonna live my life a living sacrifice.

 

 

When I look around me at the Church Universal, I become discouraged.  I see an homogenized lot, floundering, struggling, trying to attract the world, doubting the authority of God's Word, not wanting to stand out or cause a distraction.  I know this sounds judgmental! I don't speak from a critical heart, but an aching heart that is long for fellowship and deeper waters.  Where is the passion in our generation?  How can I tell the difference between the Christians and the rest of the World? Whose leadership do I trust?

 

There is another song popular on Christian radio now that has gotten quite a response.  It is akin to DeGarmo and Key's tune above.  It's Matthew West's "Motions".  It still touches people because we continue to struggle with the same issues:

 

 

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

 

 

 

So, someone besides myself and my Husband, must be feeling the growing pains and disatisfaction.  Currently we are asking God for His wisdom in leading us further.  In the mean time we are searching the Scriptures and praying. 

 

In my worship study I was reading about glorifying God.  The very first question of the Westminster catechism is:  What is the chief end of man?  The answer is:  Man's chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy Him forever.  The authors of Life Principles For Worship From The Tabernacle suggest that another way of looking at this principle, is that glorifying God is giving a correct representation of Who He is!  WOW!  This was a light bulb moment for me.  I know that we are "Living Epistles" and I've heard "You may be the only Bible that some people ever read."  I believe that, but those are the kind of cliches that you ascent to, then stick in the back of your head without contemplating much.  I've never felt like I'm capable of glorifying anybody.  I've struggled more with all the things that are wrong with me and haven't felt adequate to be "shiny and glorifying ". 

 

It's not that I feel I'm capable of giving an exact representation of Who God is either, but somehow it seems more humanly possible - like I could have a chance at it.  I don't think it's because I think that I can personally do it, but more that it seems like a goal, a guideline, a billboard saying, "This is the way, walk ye therein."  God has given definition for my job.  Now I can clear out the extraneous and concentrate on the important.

 

My job is to love God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength.  Luke 10:26-28  How does that look?  First I obviouly have my personal devotion, study and prayer.  But doing my "job" in such a way that I glorify Him is to honor my Husband as the God given authority in our Home and Family and raising my children to know the Lord God according to the principles of His Word given in Deuteronomy 6:4-9.  As the Luke passage state, it also includes loving my neighbor.  If I only concentrate on these 4 things, I will be more than busy for my entire life.  

 

I'm not saying that God doesn't want us to have fun or that everything has to be mapped out with a purpose.  What I am saying is that it is easy to lose sight of what God has given us.  The yoke of burden He has for us is easy and light.  We serve a gentle Master. Matthew 11:29-30  We create elaborate and confusing plans that weigh us down and carry us away from heart's desires, suck us dry of our passions and ultimately can lead us towards paths of destruction.  We have become like the proverbial frog boiling in water.

 

Looking over what I've written so far, I know it may come out somewhat jumbled or seemingly filled with angst.  I am finally at peace.  For so long, I have unkowingly followed with the masses, like some kind of Christian zombie.  Jesus conqured death.  He conquered sin.  It's time I live in the reality of the gift He has given.  It still stings at times that I don't really fit in, especially when it's with my Christian friends.  But more and more I think it's a good thing not that there is something "wrong" with me.   I need to follow Him, not them, not the world and not what the world thinks I should do.  Honestly I think we are approaching a time in our country's history where Christians are going to see more and more attacks on their freedoms and rights.  It may be a time of separating the wheats and the tares.  Do I love Him enough to stand?  Do I love Him enough to be humbled and emptied, so that He can fill me in order that I can glorify Him?  I don't think it's going to be easy, but I know He will not leave me and I am holding Him to that promise.

 

For now, my tasks at hand are following Him, building my faith, living in quietness and humility, gently teaching my children and loving my neighbors and allowing Him to glorify Himself through me.  Simple and yet grand.  His love and His way are simple and yet GRAND.

 

The picture I chose above is my Grandma Hopkins.  She was never a casual Christian.  She walked with Him all the days of her life - and He granted her long days, almost 96.  Her precious gnarled hands are seeking His Word in the photo above.  She is the Titus 2 woman that God placed in my life to lead me to Him and He continues to teach me through her example and her words and possessions left to me. I'm glad I don't have to do it alone and neither do you.  I leave you one last song, a hymn by Joseph Gilmore, whose precious words comfort me, He Leadeth Me.  Yes!  By His Own Hand, He leadeth me!

 

 

 

1. He leadeth me, O blessèd thought!

O words with heav’nly comfort fraught!

Whate’er I do, where’er I be

Still ’tis God’s hand that leadeth me.

Refrain:

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,

By His own hand He leadeth me;

His faithful follower I would be,

For by His hand He leadeth me.

2. Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom,

Sometimes where Eden’s bowers bloom,

By waters still, over troubled sea,

Still ’tis His hand that leadeth me.

Refrain

3. Lord, I would clasp Thy hand in Mine,

Nor ever murmur nor repine;

Content, whatever lot I see,

Since ’tis my God that leadeth me.

Refrain

4. And when my task on earth is done,

When by Thy grace the vict’ry’s won,

E’en death’s cold wave I will not flee,

Since God through Jordan leadeth me.

Refrain

Read more: http://praiseworshipmusic.suite101.com/article.cfm/he_leadeth_me_o_blessed_thought#ixzz0SKsI1Clr

1. He leadeth me, O blessèd thought!

O words with heav’nly comfort fraught!

Whate’er I do, where’er I be

Still ’tis God’s hand that leadeth me.

Refrain:

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,

By His own hand He leadeth me;

His faithful follower I would be,

For by His hand He leadeth me.

2. Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom,

Sometimes where Eden’s bowers bloom,

By waters still, over troubled sea,

Still ’tis His hand that leadeth me.

Refrain

3. Lord, I would clasp Thy hand in Mine,

Nor ever murmur nor repine;

Content, whatever lot I see,

Since ’tis my God that leadeth me.

Refrain

4. And when my task on earth is done,

When by Thy grace the vict’ry’s won,

E’en death’s cold wave I will not flee,

Since God through Jordan leadeth me.

Refrain

Read more: http://praiseworshipmusic.suite101.com/article.cfm/he_leadeth_me_o_blessed_thought#ixzz0SKsI1Clr

 

1. He leadeth me, O blessèd thought!

O words with heav’nly comfort fraught!

Whate’er I do, where’er I be

Still ’tis God’s hand that leadeth me.

Refrain:

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,

By His own hand He leadeth me;

His faithful follower I would be,

For by His hand He leadeth me.

2. Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom,

Sometimes where Eden’s bowers bloom,

By waters still, over troubled sea,

Still ’tis His hand that leadeth me.

Refrain

3. Lord, I would clasp Thy hand in Mine,

Nor ever murmur nor repine;

Content, whatever lot I see,

Since ’tis my God that leadeth me.

Refrain

4. And when my task on earth is done,

When by Thy grace the vict’ry’s won,

E’en death’s cold wave I will not flee,

Since God through Jordan leadeth me.

Refrain

Read more: http://praiseworshipmusic.suite101.com/article.cfm/he_leadeth_me_o_blessed_thought#ixzz0SKsI1Clr

1.	He leadeth me: O blessed thought! 

	O words with heavenly comfort fraught! 

	Whate'er I do, where'er I be, 

	still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me. 



Refrain:

	He leadeth me, he leadeth me, 

	by his own hand he leadeth me; 

	his faithful follower I would be, 

	for by his hand he leadeth me.



2.	Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom, 

	sometimes where Eden's bowers bloom, 

	by waters still, o'er troubled sea, 

	still 'tis his hand that leadeth me. 

	(Refrain)



3.	Lord, I would place my hand in thine, 

	nor ever murmur nor repine; 

	content, whatever lot I see, 

	since 'tis my God that leadeth me. 

	(Refrain)



4.	And when my task on earth is done, 

	when by thy grace the victory's won, 

	e'en death's cold wave I will not flee, 

	since God through Jordan leadeth me. 

	(Refrain)

 

 

 

Engaged!

 

Diane, one of my new Creative Team Members at Heritage Scrap, emailed me today with some nice news.  Apparently the layout above was featured in a blog post about vintage photos and heritage layouts by Tangie Baxter of Scrapbook Graphics Studio.  Click on her name to read the post.  This layout was created with my portion of the September Designer Collaboration, called Autumn In Paris, which you can see below.  Thanks Diane for the heads up and thank you Tangie for choosing my layout!   

 

Autumn In Paris

 

Autumn In Paris is availabe exclusively at Heritage Scrap.  During the month of September, all the collaboration portions are available for just $2.50 a piece.  Make sure to look at them all.

 

Wolcott and Hopkins Family

Wolcott and Hopkins Family
Originally uploaded by talindamood

Worship

I love it when the songs that the worship team chooses for the Sunday service coincide with things God is teaching me or topics we are covering in Sunday School afterwards.  This Sunday was one of those times.  Even though singing is only one form of worship (as opposed to the view commonly held that that is the worship part of the service), it is one of the ones I enjoy the most.  I'm surely NOT gifted at singing, but I do know how to make a joyful noise unto the Lord!  One song really touched me yesterday and I wanted to share it with you.  Be Unto Your Name by Lynn DeShazo and Gary Shadler

We are a moment You are forever Lord of the ages God before time We are a vapor You are eternal Love everlasting reigning on high Holy holy Lord God Almighty Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain Highest praises honor and glory Be unto Your name Be unto Your name We are the broken You are the healer Jesus Redeemer mighty to save You are the love song we'll sing forever Bowing before You blessing Your name Be unto Your name © 1998 Integrity's Hosanna! Music

Capitol Air Show 2009

CAS31
Originally uploaded by talindamood

Last Saturday we went to watch the USAF Thunderbirds perform at the Capitol Air Show.  We went to a local park and met up with a couple other families... three generations of us watching the air show together.  It was a lot of fun.  I took almost four hundred pics but whittled it down to 41! LOL  These are low resolution but you can get the idea.  I posted them on flickr and you can view them here!

Turn, Turn, Turn

As the song goes, mimicking Ecclesiastes... there is a time for every season, turn, turn, turn.  While I haven't been on my blog for quite awhile, God has been working and stirring in my heart.   I think I shared some time ago that on December 11, 1988, after some painful relationship experiences, I poured out my heart to God and I asked Him to change me.  I didn't want it to be like all the times before when I tried to be "good" and failed (never mind that in myself I can never be good).  I wanted this time to be different and I wrote out my desires, requests and promises to God on a piece of notebook paper, dated it and signed it.

Be careful what you ask for!  When you ask God with a sincere heart to work in your life, He is faithful and just to complete what He began in you (Phil 1:6).  In the 20 years since He has patiently been cleaning out every corner and crevice in my heart, just like I asked Him.  He didn't come in immediately with a cleaning crew from "Merry Maids" and sweep everything out.  I certainly didn't turn into "super Christian"! lol  But one piece at a time He has been cleaning out my heart.  He only brings forward what I can handle, when I can handle it, when I'm ready allow Him to work in my heart!

After one of these "sessions" things seem to go smooth for awhile and then I become dissatisfied.  Lately I have been dissatisfied!  I have not felt free to share how I feel.  Usually when I share how God is working in my heart, I am accused of being legalistic or judgmental. Having experienced my fair share of legalism and judgmental-ism, I find it difficult to understand why desiring God's best and being closer to Him is legalistic.  As far as being judgmental - I'll be honest, it's something I've struggled with, but more against myself than anyone else.

The season we've been in politically and culturally has made me restless and sad.  And judgmental.  Since 9/11 when "God Bless America" was plastered everywhere, my heart was crying out, "Give God a reason to bless America!" I know my views are unpopular and I don't expect others to agree with me.  God has shown me that I cannot do anything about all kinds of big issues on my own.  I can only take care of my own attitudes and actions and be responsive to God speaking to my heart.  In addition I can pray that God will turn peoples' hearts towards Him, not towards my way of thinking, but truly towards Him.

This summer I have also experienced some depression.  This happens to me occasionally in relation to my migraine syndrome.  This last episode has been very severe.  My brain does not share the serotonin path well and so when I experience pain I also experience dramatic dips in serotonin.  If I take ibuprofen the pain eases and the mood lifts, but I'm not allowed to use much pain medication (due to rebound headaches). So, the challenge is to learn how to live with the depression.

I'm not sharing this to whine or complain or cause you to feel sorry for me.  I share it because God works even (or especially) through these times and because I know I am not the only human being who suffers from depression or chronic pain. If you are experiencing this too, don't give up!  When depression strikes, I hold on to all that I know is TRUTH!  Truth begins with God.  I began reading my Bible and insomnia has been giving me extra prayer time.  Did I feel like it?  Not really, not when I began.  But soaking my mind in Truth when it cannot feel joy is a guard that keeps it from slipping into the "depths of despair" (as "Anne Girl" would say).  Knowing Him guards my heart from the invasion of the enemy.

Soon I became hungry.  Then thirsty.  I want more.  I WANT MORE! I am still not out of the depressing dark woods, but God is awakening my soul and He is beginning to work in my heart. Together we are ready to face more and to move forward. He is peeling away another layer of myself and filling it with Him.  I love the Sermon on the Mount... it's so simple and yet also difficult in some ways.  I hold on to those promises that He gives.  Blessed are they who mourn, because they will be comforted...Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness because they will be filled.  See... He is filling my empty heart with Him.  I am holding Him to His promises.  I know I can count on Him to be faithful and true.

And so it comes full circle for me.  Earlier this year as I was sitting in worship, I heard His voice as clear as day.  So clear in fact that I felt like looking around to see who was speaking.  He said "Empty".  What an odd and strangely dissatisfying word to hear.  I already felt empty.  I don't normally hear from God this way.  It would have been more comforting to hear some other joyful word or sentiment.  I mean if you are going to hear God speak audibly, it should be really good right?  Well it turns out it has been really good.  Empty.  That's what I've needed to be. This summer it feels that He has been revealing to me in Scripture, songs, quotes, blog posts, friends' struggles, Bible study, that I need to be emptied.  I need to be emptied of me.  Not the Me who He Created, but the me that I have created trying to maneuver around the world in my own strength. He even asked me to pray for humility.  How humbling is that? LOL

Empty.  Sometimes that is a sad word.  But now I see it more hopeful.  He has made me Glad.

He is beginning to fill me up again with Him.

And do you know where He has started?  Worship!

I picked up a Bible study I've had on my shelf for years, The Principles of Worship From The Tabernacle by Wayne Barber et al, published by AMG.  WOW, WOW, WOW.  He has spoken to me in ways through this that I have not realized before.  It felt like He was saying, "Now that you are empty Child, this is what I want you to know about how I love you."  And gently He is filling me up again.

I still don't feel very good.  Not in my self. Some depression and anxiety linger.  But, my soul begins to rejoice.  How can I not rejoice in His presence?  I am thankful for this time of change.  Turn, Turn, Turn.  And the journey continues...

Queen's View Scotland

Queen's View Scotland
Originally uploaded by talindamood

No, I didn't go to Scotland this summer!  This is a photo from my trip in 1994.  Queen's View is where Queen Victoria stopped to paint the view of Loch Tummel in Perthshire.  You can read more about it here, which includes some quotes of Queen Victoria's journal.  We stayed in near by Pitlochry at Atholl Palace - the photos do not do it justice!  It was definitely the most extravagant birthday present ever (from my English Mum Lily) and I hope to take my Hubby back to Scotland one day.  My heart and soul sigh just thinking about it.  Now that we have an actual house, I would love to do one of those exchanges where you stay in someone's house and they stay in yours.  Well, one can dream right?

The reason I have not been blogging is that we have been busy.  And quite honestly I have been overwhelmed.  We have been organizing in our house, moving furniture around, unpacking more boxes, painting and as you can see from the last post, I have also been working on doing some digital designing.  My job at Heritage Scrap has also been more time intensive with changes and also the recent cross country move of the owner.  Did I mention I also home school? LOL  During this time also, my step Dad Jack has been having cancer treatments and there is a link in the upper right hand corner for his updates which I am posting on my old blog.  Yesterday was his last day of chemo forever! Yeah!!!  He still needs prayers for side effects though and for complete healing.

All these things are good (except the cancer treatments) but I'm seeking balance.  I hope I can find that by the time that Hubby goes back to school in September.

I have lots of pictures to share with you... Lake Tahoe in June and August, Sequoia Trees, gardening and family.  I also have several posts planned in my brain (complete with photos) for my Wholly His blog on health and cooking.  When I get done organizing the kitchen, I'll have to post some photos of that as well.

During all this time I have not been on my blog, I have not been on your blogs either and I miss you!  I hope to get back to regular soon!   

 

Larimore Kit

Larimore Kit
Originally uploaded by talindamood

I'm pleased and excited to announce to you, my debut digital scrapbooking kit, Larimore, which is available at Heritage Scrap exclusively.  Larimore is my maternal Grandmother's maiden name.  As a little girl, I would sit in her lap and ask her to tell me stories about "the olden days".  Sadly, she was well into early onset Alzheimer's Disease when I was old enough to ask more questions about the real family history.  But she was the beginning of my fascination with genealogy and heritage, so it was fitting to name my first kit after her!  

The Most Important Day Of My Life

Recently I blogged about the anniversary of my Hubby's proposal.  That sure was a special day!  There have been many highlights in my life, special celebrations.  July 13, 1984 comes to mind - a special party with friends in Germany, Graduation, special concerts, time spent with friends, our wedding date and when our three children were born.  There have been other pivotal dates in my 43 year history that were life changing, but mainly in a tragic sense - the day my brother died, the times I made poor choices that really effected my life and even a few good choices that also were pivot points in my life.  Hands down, July 16, 1977 earns the honor of being the most important day of my life in all sense of the term "life changing".

I had been 11 years old for almost a month.  My Mom had recently remarried.  Grandma Hopkins invited me to family camp at Rainier, Washington.  Looking back, I'm sure she realized the newly weds needed some time together.  But, she also looked out for my spiritual health.  I loved God so much and couldn't imagine having survived my 11 years without Him.  The knowledge that He was always with us, helped me keep going through the early tragedies in my life.  I was very shy and introverted.  Going to camp was not my first choice, but being there with Grandma made it more palatable than when I went off to Girl Scout camp all by myself and cried!  Grandma's denomination or sect was odd and I'll leave it at that.  I mention it only because the circumstances of that camp have taught me to see that when God is working in a person's life, nothing is an obstacle for Him!

I met a girl from California with bright red hair, TONS of it and lots of freckles.  Her name was Debbie and we had fun creating leather work from horse hide that someone had donated.  We sat together, giggled together and vowed to always be friends.  I wonder what happened to her!  During one of the meetings mid week, during the worship services, I looked around and people had their hands raised - not uncommon now, but not so common then unless you were a "holy roller".  Then I heard people praising God in words that were not English and I looked up at Grandma and she was too!  For me it was like one of those moments in a movie where they isolate the character and they are in a soundless vortex while the world swishes around them.  It seemed weird to me, but not bad weird.

The theme of camp that year was "This is the day the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." It was based on, of course, the Psalm, but also the then *new* chorus! Now it's relegated to Sunday School classrooms as a children's chorus. My heart still floats every time I hear it.  Brother J.V. Foster from Texas was the speaker.  I'm not sure what his entire sermon was about, but I was riveted to my seat.  Mesmerized I listened to every word, which is quite unusual for an 11 year old, even a nerdy one like me!  It was as if he spoke to one person and one person only - ME.  For the first time in that morning meeting, I heard that it was not enough just to know that God was there, but that I needed to choose Him, to "ask Jesus into my heart".  That's a hard concept to explain and the last 32 years I've been learning about that... and I hope I will continue until my very last breath of life.

At the end of his teaching, there was an altar call.  I can't remember if I asked Grandma to go forward or if I was the only one.  I only knew that I MUST do this.  The Holy Spirit had spoken to my heart and I moved forward with a fortitude that day that I have never known since.  Noone and nothing could have stopped me.  I asked Jesus into my heart.  That night at 10 PM, there was to be a baptism.  And just like I was compelled (I don't think that is actually strong enough of a word) to go forward, I new I MUST be baptized.  I couldn't wait for another time so my family could come.  I had to then.  I remember the blue plaid dress I wore, my fear that he would hold me under and pray too long, I remember the sweet fellowship feeling that one develops in a camp setting and I remember the cold water of the Deschutes River. One other thing stood out to me - I was not cold when I came out of the water!  I felt warm and glowing and had no doubt that I was totally His.  Not everyone is given these special things, but I think God knew the battle I had before me and wanted to assure me that no matter what life brought, I always belonged to Him!

Wow, it has been an up and down journey those 32 years, but through it all, God has allowed me to feel that I am His.  Even when I have deserved severe chastisement, He has been gracious to me.  Later on that week in camp, we had a talent night and I played "Amazing Grace" on my flute.  Still today when I hear that song, my eyes well up with tears to think of the price He paid for me and how truly AMAZING His grace is.  What a wonderful day that was so many years ago.  Thank you Holy Spirit for guiding me.

I pray that all who read this have His peace that passes all understanding in their hearts.  If you are curious about why I believe in Jesus, I would be happy to answer sincere questions.  If you would like to read more, please click the red "ready?" button in the columns at the right.

Thank you Jesus!